I woke up anxious and gaping for breath.
I felt like I was drowning, drowning in my nightmares.
Except they are not nightmares, they are my miseries.
I know this.
I know that I'm going to curl like a ball in my bed,
Until I'm ready to face my miserable life again.
I know that my eyes will be watering in a matter of seconds and my heart aching.
I loathe the horrors of waking up to my misery again.
As the sun rise in my bedroom window,
So does my anxiety.
The sounds of the morning;
The singing birds,
The people of this house passing my bedroom door,
The winds.
They all remind me of how a night's sleep didn't change the events of my life that give me nightmares.
As the sun sets,
So does my hope to being peaceful again.
I was tired in mid-afternoon,
So I decided to sleep.
Maybe just maybe, I will wake up new
Maybe just maybe, my life miseries would stop haunting when I'm asleep.
I wake up anxious again,
Miserable again.
I curl up again,
Like I did in the morning,
All the aches coming afresh.
I wish I was something else.
I wish I was a bike,
Idling and feeling nothing till it's used again.
Having to be repaired and oiled when breaking down,
Appreciating my handlers love and attention every single day.
Other bikes won't simply hurt me,
Would they?
Suddenly my handler will abandon me,
He will certainly abandon me when I start being weak because of old age and rusts.
But ain't what God does?
Abandon me?
I wish I was a duck,
Quacking and eating worms for a life time.
Ducks don't have to watch over their weight, do they?
Ducks are not miserable in their periods, do they even have periods?
Daughter-ducks don't have to live their lives trying to impress their Father-ducks that they are responsible, are Father-ducks nice?
I wish I was a duck,
Maybe my feet wouldn't be cold.
No, I wish I was a wild sunflower.
Unbothered,
Growing tall,
Always sun bathing.
Certainly, if I was a sunflower I wouldn't worry about being plucked
Who plucks wild sunflowers anyway?
I wish I would heal chest pains,
Just like a sunflower.
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