I am sitting outside right now, watching sunset, thinking about you. I miss you with every fibre in my body, writting this letter which I'll probably never have the courage to send you. I don't even know what I'm writing about, except that I used to tell you everything and we don't talk, idk what to do with all this information in my head, all the things I see, the books I read, the people I meet- nothing felt real for a long time because I had not been able to share any of it with you.
I remember, once we got to know each other, it felt like I was let in on a secret. We were feeling all of these emotions that no one else in about or would never understand. Or maybe I felt them. People tend to get cocky in love. We were the cockiest. Oh God we were insufferable,weren't we? Two peas in a pod always so in love. It lasted sooner than I expected.
I can't even explain why it ended. You were looking at me with the biggest smile on your face and then....
You didn't want any of it anymore.
I remember feeling inadequate. I never was the pretty-dresses-cute-shoes kinda girl. I didn't know what accessorising was, or how to put make up on. You said it was ok, then why did you leave?
In all eighteen years of my life, I had made it solely on my books, my thoughts and my conversations. I was always a student. I mean of course, I was in school like everyone else but even apart from that, in my time, I was always learning. It was all I did. Is that why you left?
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